I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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