Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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