I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
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Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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