I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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