she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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