dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
