No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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