Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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