I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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