chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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