I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
