It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
