I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
