I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
