I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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