i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
