Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She needs sedatives and a leash
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
