You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
