Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
