i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
