come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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