last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
