Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
