i don't like sucking hair
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
