try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
