one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
