all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Who died my cat blue again?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
