umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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