just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize