so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
