i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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