i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
