all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
