I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
