I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
