idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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