they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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