I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
