i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
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