Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize