so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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