I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
