First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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