Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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