I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
