My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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