I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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