did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
