I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You've changed since you got that strap on
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
