I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
