It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
