If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he was CRYING into my vagina
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize