Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize