My friends, they love my intelligence
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
