goodnight i made you a song goodbye
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
