the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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