so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
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What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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