She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
two words: eviction party
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
