worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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