so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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