You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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