Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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